Author Archives: Frank Margarella
In a shocking turn of events, CEO and President of Gearbox Software and cover model of Eyeware Magazine Randy Pitchford had returned very briefly from the Bizarro Dimension in which he had been trapped years ago by his bizarro counterpart and current acting CEO and President of Gearbox Software, Bizarro Pitchford.
Alt Title: Frank’s Love Letter to Edmund McMillen.
Maturity. Typing it leaves a sting on my fingers. Saying it; a sour taste in my mouth. So-called auteurs of the gaming industry speak of it as though without ‘maturity’, the videogame can never be considered art. As though that if we don’t put tasteful nudes, high-polygon graphics, crying-physics, and a story about the human condition, then Roger Ebert, a person only interested in writing about cinema, will never say that games “are kinda okay, I guess” (not an actual quote from Roger Ebert). It’s gotten so bad that I’ve begun needing to imagine the word ‘mature’ with a small © next to it, because let’s face it, maturity has become more of a checkbox than a concept.
This desperate need for some developers to have their work validated by people unimportant and indifferent to the games industry is nothing short of just sad. We need to have FOX News accept us! We need to have movie critics critique games! We must be validated! We must be validated!
The End is Nic.
Perhaps you’ve played The Legend of Zelda series. Perhaps you’ve played Majora’s Mask. Perhaps you’ve seen Nic Cage’s fantastic acting (I’m being unironic, too). Now let’s say that perhaps you love Majora’s Mask and Nicolas Cage so much that you stay up for hours every night dreaming of them being married in wonderful, horrific bliss. Well, for one, I envy you and your precious, unique mind. Also, your dreams have been made a reality, and it’s not due to the belayed apocalypse or drugs (though I suspect some narcotics may have been involved at some point). Kinda famous internet boy, fantastic video editor, and all around hilarious video game video youtuber (that’s a term, right?) Criken, whom I am personally a huge fan of, has completed his life’s greatest work; The Legend of Cage: Beneath the Mask.
Everyone’s favorite blonde developer of the videoed games has released a brand new rendering of the main protagonist, Bolid Bake for his new game, The Phantom Pain.
Now that I have your attention with that, dare I say it, frankly inflammatory title, I’d like to introduce you to the world of game publishers.
I, being a young and supple boy at the age of twenty, can’t remember a time when publishers were not the gatekeepers to triple-A game production. EA, Activision, THQ (may you rest in peace, my sweet prince), Capcom, Konami, Microsoft, Nintendo, Sony and more were in charge of what games got made and which ones didn’t. I always thought to myself, “Wilikers! These guys must really love games to be putting out so many of them!”. Read the rest of this entry
Hey, Gearbox. Man, you look just like I feel.
The debacle surrounding Aliens: Colonial Marines just keeps getting more and more headline worthy. After promising for six straight years that we were going to get a beautiful looking, well-crafted game, we were handed the steaming turd that is the collaborative effort of Gearbox, TimeGate, and publisher SEGA. With blatant lies like showing previews that displayed a beautiful game with really smart enemy AI, only to ship a game with absolutely none of what was promised, many games feel cheated out of their money.
Well, they’re not the only ones. Read the rest of this entry
It definitely will not not be a part of it, probably.
According to a Facebook post by everyone’s favorite game developer, Joakim Mogren announced that there are “some pretty unlikely rumours that The Phantom Pain is going to appear at Sony’s show tonight, what with the update to the website (http://thephantompain.com/) saying 2:20.”